When things don’t seem to go right, it’s very easy to stay in the thoughts of how terrible your situation is. In fact, why wouldn’t you? Life has been so unfair to you recently. You have written so many applications but they were never successful. You put in so much effort in that new project and all it did was fall apart. When you tried that relationship, you were betrayed. Someone spoke low of you, and you’re self-esteem is diminishing. And it just can’t be fair that whatever you are trying to do never gives you the results you want, nor the satisfaction. You seem so busy but never get much accomplished. So you’re constantly saying to yourself “things are very complicated for me.”
Well, most people get caught up in this easy but self-sabotaging game of thinking just how messed up their situations are. They constantly fill their minds with stories of how impossible it for them to have their issues solved. Alarmingly, as it always is with life, the story you tell yourself, becomes. You get trapped, not it the troubles, but in your troubled thinking. So how do you get past your obstacle?
You see, in order to get away from the problem towards the solution you’ve got to stop focusing on where you are (the problem) and focus on where you want to go (the desired state). You need to constantly look in the direction to which you want to go, not the other way. If a driver accidentally lost direction of the road and is about to crush on a tree, he has two options: to shout and cry as he accelerates towards the tree, or focus on the road and make a quick move to get him there. As it is with the driver who focuses on the tree and screams as he is about to crush –which he does –if you focus on your problem and keep complaining it will deprive you of happiness and sink you deeper into the problem.
What we feed our minds determines how we feel, our emotions. Our emotions are energy that empowers us to act in either direction. When you have a positive emotion such as excitement or passion you are motivated to do something positive. If you have a negative emotion such as despair or resentment you are motivated to do something equally negative. Those who are successful in getting over their problems –consciously or unconsciously– leverage this truth.
So next time you are in a problem or a situation, don’t get trapped in thinking how terrible the situation is. Take a moment to imagine being in your desired state, then figure out what is missing to get there and do it.
Now, this is not going to solve your problem, but it’s the first, necessary step to overcome your obstacles. Instead of concentrating on your obstacles, concentrate on where you want to go. This will clear your mind of the negativity so that you are able to see the opportunities and decide your way out. Concentrating on the solution or desired state will give you the energy to act on your strategy.